im trying not to let things get to me as much as they used to. it doesnt matter what anyone thinks about me or how i look.. as long as i like it, fuck them (thats the attitude im going for.. and im truly trying to stick to it). so that hat i was talking about in my previous post, my ma doesnt like it. she made a comment about how its a “gang banger hat”, which it isnt. shes also made fun of it, for the most part, since i got it. she even went as far as asking if i was wearing it out when i left the house this afternoon. no. i thought id leave it on my end table and stare at it lovingly as i passed it each day. yes, im wearing it out. especially the next time i go out with you(her). i went out today and i felt fucking incredible. that never happens. so regardless of what anyone thinks about it.. it will be a permanent accessory. even if i just have it with me, just incase i need my security blanket, lol.
when i got home earlier, she again made a comment. i finally said something to her about it and im hoping it sunk in this time. im trying to raise my self-esteem and i dont need to be around people that are going to be dragging me down. thats exactly what im trying to get away from. i have enough negative thoughts about myself, which im working on ridding myself of, so i dont need others to put their two cents in. if i wanted your opinion i would ask for it. there are only two people in this world whose opinions i care about and they know who they are. so everyone else can fuck off..
so, in order to deal with my parents negativity.. ive decided to just walk away. i dont need to listen to things that are going to pull me down. and that goes for anyone anywhere. i know i also need to lighten up a little.. cause im sure sometimes i take what may be a snarky comment and take it to heart when i shouldnt. i have a lot of different things im working on at once to improve my self image and my state of mind. it will all take time, but in the end itll all be worth it and.. itll blow every one away.