why do i fucking walk on them for her? i do it all the time too. ill bite my tongue and suffer myself, get angry or frustrated or whatever the case is to avoid getting her pissed off. i really need to knock it off. i think i might do it tho cause she is the only friend i really have that i hang out with on a regular basis and im afraid to lose that. its a horrible reason to not speak my mind tho. sometimes, i feel like its almost used against me. like she knows that i dont have anyone else.. and almost walks on me in a way. i dont know tho. i told her today that my ma would be helping me in the mornings and the hours would be split between them because im tired of getting up at three in the afternoon. she laughed in a way that.. i dont know how to explain it, but it was almost like a “fuck you”.. i could have been reading into it.. who knows?
i didnt do much today since i didnt get up until.. honestly, i dont remember. i think it was about 6pm. i did get my shower and she changed my sheets. she bitched about some stuff, too. i almost wanted to be a bitch back, but once again i held my tongue. anyway, i didnt get really anything done today. i found a few more jobs on craigslist and i started a couple different designs in photoshop.
tomorrow im going to a musical, mary poppins.. so i wont be able to work on much during the day. but when i come home ill have time to mess around with more stuff in photoshop and maybe even read a little more. hell, i might even dj tomorrow night.. who the fuck knows, lol.