elle jay*

i lost 10lbs! yay! this diet is finally paying off and i feel wonderful! ;D honestly, im really tired now and im going to bed, but i had to at least post that because… well because im fucking proud of myself! ill write more tomorrow for sure.. for now tho its bed time cause tomorrow [...]

fall in love or fall in hate.
get inspired or be depressed.
ace a test or flunk a class.
make babies or make art.
speak the truth or lie and cheat.
dance on tables or sit in the corner.
life is divine chaos. embrace it.
forgive yourself. breathe.
and enjoy the ride…

“come catch me.. im falling.. come, save me.. im crawling.. dont let me fade away..”
i dont know how to deal with all the emotions im feeling. im sad, im upset, im hurt, im frustrated, im angry, im scared.. its a lot to deal with on top of dealing with everything else. so, in order to [...]

on one positive note.. i beat my high score of 153 with a 180. yea, i rock at wii’ing.

..how i feel right now. im sad.. im trying not to be tho. its just a really difficult situation and no ones at fault for anything and no sorries are needed. its just my heart and my head need to come to terms with some stuff and its just not happening.. at least not yet. [...]

man, i love wii’ing. seriously.. i wii’ed for 2.5 hours tonight, lol. i finally got my ma and my dad to play some bowling with me. i beat my top score for my left hand – 153.. and i did for my right as well with a 145. i love it. my ma got all [...]

..coincidentally enough, i also cant stop laughing every time i say that. its so immature, lol. but i cant help it! at least i know im not the only one, he does it too, haha. seriously tho, i cant stop playing it. the only reason i do stop is because my arms get tired after [...]

so, i talked to him today. i am feeling so much better than i was the other day. it still amazes me how he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better.. and the best part about that is hes not fibbing to make me feel better or sugar coating anything. he just [...]

its been a rough couple of days. an emotional rollercoaster if you will. i honestly dont even wanna get into it cause im still wrapping my head around it. however, as much as im upset, im still happy for him. he deserves the best, and if he did infact find someone then i hope she [...]

i have a lot on my mind right now.. but honestly, my head hurts and im tired. all i wanna do is go to bed and escape in my dreams for a bit before my wake up call.. maybe ill get into whats on my mind tomorrow, maybe not. i dont know, depends on how [...]

1. paint or draw at least one piece every 2 weeks
2. exercise at least 2-3 times a week
3. volunteer at an animal shelter
4. lose weight (im not putting an exact amount to lose.. cause i dont know how easy it will be and i dont wanna discourage myself)
5. create my own stationary/note cards
6. sell my [...]

challenge me. label me. its what you do best.
categorize me, does that comfort you?
my blood, my body is mine. let me decide who i am.
no lies, no prize. just truth.
my skin is not a book. dont judge me by my cover.
its not up to you anymore.
im not asking your permission.
im not asking for your advice.
i [...]

its been a long day! ive been up since 6.. roughly. cause i did go back to sleep after i woek him up, but it was just for a little bit while he watched a video. besides, i wasnt sleeping.. i was brainstorming. yea, you heard me. its my time to lay there and have [...]

so i have the best grandparents in the world! they bought me a new laptop. no more lag! and to make things even better… allll my stuff from my old laptop was able to be saved, minus some fonts i use in photoshop. thats fine tho, i know where to go for those ;D im [...]

why did this whole computer bullshit have to happen now? seriously.. i feel like i was finally getting somewhere and then BAM! no more computer. no more photoshop. no more graphics. no  more music. no itunes. no more bookmarks. no more anything i had on my computer. i mean, hopefully it can all be salvaged.. [...]