so, i talked to him today. i am feeling so much better than i was the other day. it still amazes me how he knows exactly what to say to make me feel better.. and the best part about that is hes not fibbing to make me feel better or sugar coating anything. he just lays it out there in a way that.. for a loss of better words.. is perfect. i didnt fuck anything up with my questions from the other day. hes still my best friend and thats all i really care about. i was honestly having hard time with all the new information i had gotten.. which is why i had all the questions.. he knows me well enough to know that i have a question for pretty much everything, lol.
so, tears were shed.. but for the most part, they werent sad tears cause i still had my bff. yea, i used the term. deal with it. i already feel a pfft coming my way from him for that one, lol. seriously though, when it boils down to it. i can deal with not being with him.. its something that i can move past cause honestly, ive known that it needed to be done. however, just the thought of losing him as my best friend makes me wanna cry. im absolutely certain that i would be crushed beyond repair at that point. maybe that makes me sound weak, like i cant hack it without him. but, i truly believe i couldnt. no one will ever understand the friendship we have, but we do and he is such a huge part of my world that if he were to not be there anymore, it would literally collapse.
hes my confidant, my sanity, my rock, my shoulder to cry on, hes there when i need a laugh or a swift kick in the ass, hes my motivator, hes someone i know i can count on no matter what, hes my guardian angel.. my best friend. i know im getting all mushy, but some of you just wont get it. its just something i was so terrified of losing.. and after our talk earlier.. i know i dont have to worry about that. not only that, but usually when him and i are chatting we resort to typing while on a call with each other (i take full responsibility for that habit) when we have something thats either hard to say or whatever the case is.. but today, i put a stop to that and he said some things that i know and weve typed it to each other, but today he said them. and just hearing the words that someone, not just someone, but him.. that he cares about me.. those words hold a lot of power. and it made me feel so much better than i had been feeling. :)
ok.. moving on lol.. i went to get weighed today. th elady fucked up the scale and it didnt read it accurately. basically cause theres no way anyone can lose 70lbs in a couple weeks.. especially if that person is me. so i need to get reweighed with someone who knows how to work the wheelchair scale. hopefully tomorrow itll get done. my grandparents are the shit, btw and told us they are going to purchase a wheelchair scale to put in the basement so i wouldnt have to go to the hospital to get weighed everytime.
aside from all that.. i also started his scarf. that should be done by the time it gets cold out, lol. and tonight my gramps and i played some wii. he is seriously all about it. its hilarious cause he cant play all that well and needs to constantly be reminded what buttons to push. but, its fun and i can totally kick his ass in the sports games lol..
so, tomorrow.. wake up call for him, while he studies.. im going to fuck with some css, then after a few hours hell head out, ill sleep a little more then more css, his scarf, maybe some art.. a little reading, possibly getting weighed and umm.. oh! wiiiii!! ;D