i slept all day. i woke up and was sad and instead of facing the day, i pulled the blankets over my head and closed my eyes.. wishing i could live in my dreams forever. everything is so perfect there and then to wake up and come back to the realization that its another day of transferring, squeaky tires, a sore back, a sore ass for that matter, being on someone elses schedule.. its just disappointing and today, i didnt want to deal with it.
i also had something happen to me which usually happens every so often and all it ever does is infuriate me and frustrate me like no other. im going to try to explain it the best i can, so bear with me.. when i woke up this morning and was laying there, i had this feeling in my body.. in my muscles like they wanna work, but i cant do anything about it. ill get these muscle twitches and get so antsy its like all i wanna so is hop up and pace around, but all i can do is lay there frustrated. it added on to my mood this morning.
dont get me wrong, i am throughly looking forward to where my life is going. its just some days i realize that im still working toward my goal and the uphill battle is just too much to handle. so, i breakdown for a day or two. ill be fine tho, i know my goals and i am still determined to reach them. more than determined.. and im too excited about england, seeing him and my new ink to not work hard to reach that finish line. but everyone has their moments.. today was mine.
i need to sleep now tho. ive only been up for 6 hours and im already ready for bed again. hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.. positive mental attitude, its what im going to try to go to bed and wake up with. i have too much shit i need to get done to let myself get dragged down.