thats what i realized today. ive lost 1.5lbs in a matter of 3 days. why? cause im determined. im motivated. ive got that grrrr factor back and im not letting it slip away again! ive added new things i can do to exercise even when im sitting in bed.. kinda like im doing now while i type this post. its eleven at night and im exercising even tho i can wait til the morning. why? cause i want this more than anything and i have deadlines and goals to meet. even the littlest movements can help, thats obvious after my last weigh-in. and it will be even more obvious after the next one and the one after that and so on ;D

30lbs by april 1st. pfft, thatll be a piece of proverbial cake ;D lol. for now tho i need sleep, i have a business meeting in the morning with my cousin! sleepydoodle time! positive mental attitude for the win! lol

When you know what you want
and you want it badly enough,
you’ll find a way to get it.
Jim Rohn

so my folks were gone for the past week, my sleep schedule [if you can really even call it that] got very messed up as a result. that, in addition to not feeling 100% has caused a lack in posting, which i apologize for, lol. tho i doubt the one or two readers who do read this really cared. well, i take that back, i know for a fact one did. lol, but lets be honest, hes probably the only one who checks it at least once a day. anyway, i digress. no more slacking is what it boils down to.

with them being gone i really thought there would be some fun things to report back, there isnt. i didnt do anything that i wanted to this past week. no tattoo, no shopping, no sending his early prezzies.. nothing. just sleep, tv, and herbs. a friend that normally doesnt stay with me did. and i understand she did also have to work during the day, but i dont know.. i guess i figured we could still go do things. im actually quite bummed we didnt. shit happens i suppose.

we did go out day and i got to see her apartment and then we met up with some friends of ours for dinner. i got to see their new baby, shes adorable! after dinner we went to barnes and noble, two different ones. i got myself a nice little address book and shes supposed to pick up something else for me when her discount kicks in. oh and also that night we went to the bar. the quietest bar in world! seriously. we were the only ones there. it was kind of lame.

i think the highlight of the week was getting a package in the mail from him. he had shown me a site before called neuron rebellion and then he had me go back to it again, this time to pick out one of the art dolls. they are a symbol of determination and inspiration and all those other positive ‘-tion’ words. not to mention they are freakin adorable. the story of how the dolls came about is reason enough to check out the site, which is linked above or in the side bar. so, he had me pick. after he explained what it would represent i thought it was only fitting to get marco & polo, the only ones on the site sold together.

according to the blurb about them they are mirror twins and hate being separated. they feed off each others energy and are a blast to be around [just like us, lol.. im very modest, hes humble, haha]. i was excited to get them, they are oh so very cute. we are however going to be separating them. itll be ok, marco is going to a good home and can talk to polo anytime via the internet and his microphone, lol.

polo, is gonna help me stay on track. weve already had a discussion. yes, i talked to a stuffed sock basically. what of it? this is an important year with lots of changes to be made. i cant afford to veer off track. i need to stay determined and focused, pushing away negative thoughts and people and embracing the positive. its hard, but then again it makes the ending even better. the best part is, it wont even be an ending.. itll just be the beginning. this year is just the warm up!

Determination gives you the resolve to keep going
in spite of the roadblocks that lay before you.
Denis Waitley

hibernating sounds perfect. i could sleep and sleep.. and just dream. i love dreaming. i have a tattoo on the inside of my forearm it reads ‘..i wanna see movies of my dreams..‘ its from car by built to spill, i love it. you should have a listen, maybe youll love it too or at least like it.. anyway, i digress.. i know a  lot of people might think thats lame. good thing i didnt get a tattoo to please someone else, huh? i got it cause it means something to me.. cause honestly id love nothing more than to share them with certain people. not all, of course. some are just for me, lol. but still, i would love to even sit back and just watch them like a movie. how cool would that be?

since hibernating isnt really an option, i need to get on the case. i have plans. theres NO way im breaking them! i need to get on track and start a routine. i think thats the first step. im thinking up by 8:30am and in bed by 9:30pm.. and then try to actually sleep. after i post, of course. and then with out a doubt id still do wake up calls. i wouldnt cut those out, lol. i dont know what my second step is yet. well, thats not true, i need to work on our website. i also need to work on photoshop and getting sugarmooch up and running as well. plus, i also wanna get back into art. ive been neglecting it and that needs to stop. and i need to start reading. i miss it, i used to read a lot a few years ago. and i miss getting lost in books. he would tell me to read something that i can learn something from.. i like getting lost in my imagination when i read, tho. so ;p

i think thats a good plan routine wise and goal/objective wise. positive mental attitude, thats what this is about. that is what i am about. :)

We must become the change we want to see.
Mahatma Gandhi

i seriously feel like ive lost weight. i need to get weighed to know for sure.. but i honestly think i did. physically, i feel better than i have in a long time.. and im just getting started. im going to make my goal weight and im going to look absolutely amazing when i do. the wii is definitely helping me get to my goal. it gets my heart rate going, im exercising and i know im burning calories. i love it! i actually looked in the mirror tonight, like really looked and saw myself at my goal weight.. and it felt amazing. so theres no way im giving up til ive reached it. im definitely on the right track and i cant wait to see how it all turns out.

i also went to the abilities expo today. i got a new grabber, its called the telestik. ill post a link on the right for it. its seriously the best one ive had yet. i know i just got it, but i already know it can do so much more than the other ones ive had. its much lighter and the whole concept of it is much more adapted to a person with a disability. so im excited about it. i also went to that sex on wheels: the art of kissing workshop. im glad i went. the stuff the speaker talked about really made a lot of sense and really hit home more than once. a lot of it really made me think about my own situation in a way i never had before. im still processing everything he said. plus, i bought his book, which ill also post a link for.

all-in-all.. it was a really good day. i got to wake him up and have a mini morning dj session for him, then i slept.. woke up, went to the expo, talked to him after work, wii’ed, blogged.. i feel good about myself.. and i like that. :)

tomorrow in no particular order.. css, laugh with my nerdface, wii, read, crochet maybe, art maybe.. probably take a mini nap.. i mean, brainstorm! and then photoshop for a bit.. by then he should be home and then more chatting and laughing with him ;D yay! good plan. i like it!