ive been looking into different places to rent a wheelchair from while im out there, thats one of my main concerns. i need something that can be broken down, but still be electric. but then it still needs to be a chair that is firm compared to most collaspable chairs which usually have soft backs and seats. at this point in time i know i wouldnt be comfortable in something like that for a long period of time. and i plan on being in england for at least a week, week and a half.. who knows at this point really, lol.

im hoping by the time im down to my goal weight, the kind of chair wont matter cause itll be easier for me to shift positions or if need be have someone lift me onto a couch or something of that nature. im getting closer to my goal every day. ive lost a a few more pounds and am down 22.8lbs so far! ive found new exercises i can do from my chair while i watch shows online with him, plus im still wii’ing.

ive been saving up for my trip as well. my new fund jar is for our london excursion while im over there. we plan on going down that way for a night or two, possibly see a friend and his girlfriend while we are there as well. thats what the bowl is for tho. all spare change will go in there and before i head overseas ill cash it and whats ever in there will go towards our mini trip within a trip ;D

im really excited about going over there and getting to hang out with him! its definitely the best motivation and just the kick in the ass that i needed. ive been on diets before. the most i lost was 10lbs and i was in my teen years at that point. the diets i tried after that, i dont know.. i guess i wasnt motivated enough. i didnt care about myself. i didnt feel like anyone did. of course, i know now its not true. but at the time its how i felt. i would cheat on the diet without a second thought.

now tho.. even thinking about cheating on it i feel guilty and choose not to do it. im pretty sure that a big part of that is that i tend to tell him everything. so if i cheated, i would definitely tell him and then id be disappointed in myself and whether he felt the same or not.. i would think he would be. i dont want that. plus, i owe this to myself to stick to it and continue on the road im on because in the long run its all for the better. i didnt think i had the willpower, but ive already proved myself wrong. i will get to my goal weight and when i do.. its england or bust. :)

Strength does not come from physical capacity,
it comes from an indomitable will.
Mahatma Gandhi

so my family ordered out tonight for dinner. so did i. “omg! you cheated on your diet?!” no. no, i did not. i ordered a grilled chicken sandwich. i took it off the bread it came on and onto a whole wheat bun with some light mayo, which im allowed.. and then some lettuce and tomato. and instead of fries, i had my night time snack with dinner, which was bbq soy crisps. so, i think i did a pretty good job with it. the reason i ordered anyway is because the food that is left i just cant bring myself to eat lol.. i will. i just couldnt do it tonight.

after dinner, i wii’ed. not only did i wii.. but i bowled my best game yet! i went from a high score of 178 to 238. i marked in every frame and it was usually a strike.. and i have pics to prove it! just ask him, lol. i had to send it! cause i did such an awesome fucking job. it could just be because i felt so good today. i think my pet project is paying off already. it really was what i needed to get myself back on track. after wii’ing it was back up to finish my closet. i tossed so many clothes. its all going to some charity of some kind tho.

so, for tomorrow… phase two: die dust bunnies. also, my ma was talking about washing the inside of the windows/window frames cause they are dusty.. and he may possibly be online.. but since i cant help her with windows, i can talk to him and go thru alllll my paperwork that i need to file. yay! ;D