thats what i realized today. ive lost 1.5lbs in a matter of 3 days. why? cause im determined. im motivated. ive got that grrrr factor back and im not letting it slip away again! ive added new things i can do to exercise even when im sitting in bed.. kinda like im doing now while i type this post. its eleven at night and im exercising even tho i can wait til the morning. why? cause i want this more than anything and i have deadlines and goals to meet. even the littlest movements can help, thats obvious after my last weigh-in. and it will be even more obvious after the next one and the one after that and so on ;D

30lbs by april 1st. pfft, thatll be a piece of proverbial cake ;D lol. for now tho i need sleep, i have a business meeting in the morning with my cousin! sleepydoodle time! positive mental attitude for the win! lol

When you know what you want
and you want it badly enough,
you’ll find a way to get it.
Jim Rohn

they are planning on retiring in arizona. so, they are going out there to go house shopping. granted they wont actually be moving out there for another five years or more. im not really sure what their plans are exactly, but i know my ma has mentioned staying out there in the winter and stuff cause she doesnt really want to sell the house were in now. personally, i dont want them to sell the house were in now either.

my ma and i have talked about it before. i told her that she should let me and a couple friends rent the house while they are gone and then when they come into town obviously they would stay here. i think it would be cool. i really would love to have a place of my own, but to be honest it would be difficult to do that because things do need to be set up a certain way so i can transfer and all that jazz. however, by the time i get down to my goal weight it might be so easy that it doesnt matter how things are set up cause ill be able to do my transfers regardless. who knows tho, that ill have to just wait and see about.

honestly, i dont want to move out to arizona, but i know i dont want to stay in chicago either. im hoping that when i lose all this weight, itll also give me a sense of freedom. i know ill be able to transfer easier. but it also means other people will be able to help me easier, lift me if need be. hell, they will even be able to carry me up stairs if its needed. ill be able to go places ive never been able to go and do things ive never been able to do. i know itll give me the confidence im currently lacking. and maybe just maybe, ill be able to live where ever i want to live because everything else will be so much easier for me.

and if thats not the case.. well him and i will always have our huts on the beach when we become successful and rich! lol

Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

i love laughing. im pretty sure its one of my favorite things to do, like in my top 3. so, i knew exactly what i was going to do this halloween. and no, it wasnt going to be me dressing in black with a shoelace strung up the front of my shirt claiming im a roller skate. however, if i were to be invited to a halloween party, i promise i will go dressed as exactly that! i think im safe there tho. that doesnt happen much and this isnt the movies. so im not going to have some secret reader send me a message and blah, blah, blah hollywood ending, yay! yea, its not like that, lol.

ANYWAY! sorry, got off track for a minute there. i knew i had to send him some edible treats with inside jokes thrown in. to be honest, i love sending packages to people, but i have no one to send to really.. tho now that im thinking about it.. that could be a good business. i should look into that. like a care package mail order type deal. that could be the other page i have! oh man, i just got a bunch of ideas all at once! i need to look into this shit tomorrow. ;D

ok, so once again off track! tangents for the win! \o/* so, i went out the other morning with my ma in search of edible treats and such. for starters the day was gorgeous! this was after some craptastic weather. oh, before we went for thr treats i had to go get my state ID updated. i looked good that day and thats not something i would normally say about myself, but im really starting to see the changes with my weight and its slowy but surely making me feel better about myself. today, for instance, a ring ive been wearing since i was sixteen fell right off my finger! for a second i thought it fell stright thru the elevator shaft, but luckily it didnt. so yea, twenty-one pounds down and counting!

and the winner for most tangents in one post goes to… *drumroll*…elle! yay! — im allowed to be lame sometimes. dont judge me, lol. cause jesus may love you, but i think youre a cunt. ;D just kidding. calm down and dont get your panties in a bunch. if it offends you.. im pretty sure thats the point. ;D no hard feelings. we can still play kissyface on the weekends. lmfao

moving on.. and i apologize and congratulate you at the same time for making it this far thru my ramblings ;p yea..  so the treats! i picked out some candy, of course having to make sure i got reesees peeeeceees. ;p and i thought about sending him another box of froot loops, but i decided against it. for the hell of it tho, i thought i would see if they had individual servings of cereals. to be honest, i didnt think they did! i was wrong, tho. i totally found single serving froot loops! ;D you may not get how excited i was to find these, but i know he does haha. my chair has a power seat on it and i raised it to to grab the only one i saw. just because i could, i double checked every shelf and lo and behold! i found another.now he can make a telephone and be the coolest kid on the block!

the pens are because.. well because i know theyll be put to use, lol. the back and body is for exactly what it says. if you havent used it for aches and pains before. do yourself a favor and buy some next time youre out. they work wonderfully! they always work for me so im hoping they work for him when his back starts to hurt. i might swipe one before i send it, but dont tell him that =x lol. oh! i also finally bought myself some sharpie pens and i fucking love them! best purchase ever!

my dorkiness comes into play with the pumpkin bucket, lol. since it is halloween.. and in all honesty i do love to get into the creative side of gift giving. some silly little martha stewart-esque quailty about it, just not as elaborate. so i searched the shop high and low and all thru their halloween stuff until i came across that little guy. i think its cute and its silly enough to get a giggle out of him. plus, then he can use it for change. see its useful and cute! even if it sits in a drawer, still practical, so ;p

i havent sent the package yet. the weather hasnt been in my favor today and yesterday my ma had other plans. so i have to wait until monday or tuesday most likely. either way, it should get there before or on halloween which works. hell, even if it doesnt. im sure it wont be the end of the world, lol. and yes, i posted a pic of his treats and yes he reads my posts.. thats because he already knows what hes getting cause we are rubbish at keeping surprises from each other. however, i am making a few adjustments to it that will be a surprise. :) just cause itll be silly, hehe.

so to sum it up… laughing is awesome. edible treats will be on their way to him soon. things are going good with me despite a couple bad days this past week or so. i like sending care packages and need to look into starting a business. oh and, tho i didnt mention it before, i need to work on our shop page more, the link is in the side bar :) its coming along well, i just need to add more products and post a bit more. were getting there tho! anyway, that was quite the ramble, lol. it happens. ;)

*\o/ = yay arms

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
Victor Borge

]]> http://www.ellejay.com/2009/10/no-tricks-just-treats/feed/ 0 http://www.ellejay.com/2009/07/operation-fresh-start/ http://www.ellejay.com/2009/07/operation-fresh-start/#comments Tue, 28 Jul 2009 04:30:54 +0000 elle http://ellejayxoh.wordpress.com/?p=548 so ive come to a decision.. i need to rearrange my life. it needs to start with my bedroom. i need to clear out my room and start over with a whole new look. i already know what colors i want and i have a rough idea of what i want it to look like. but i think im going to write about it step by step.. and ill even show paint samples and such and maybe take update pics of the progress :)

tomorrow im starting with the clean out process. im getting rid of so much shit. my ma is going to help me. ive already told her i dont want to hear her say “oh, youre getting rid of that?!” ..cause it always makes me second guess myself and i end up keeping it. not this time tho. i told her i dont even wanna hear it once. i think she got the point. so, im excited to start this. i have so much to get rid of. im giving some of my VHS movies to my nana and then ill sell the rest on craigslist. im also using my old computer that i was gonna sell.. but i bought another gig for it before it broke and i dont use it for anything else.. so im going to attempt to put all my music.. or as much of it thatll fit, onto that computer and then i can sell my cds.. cause honestly, im also getting rid of my stereo. i never ever use it. all i use is my iphone and my laptop. omg! i just realized something! i dont have to get rid of them.. but after i put them all on my computer i can keep the cds in the new van cause it has a cd player! ;D perfect!

im also going to go on craigslist and look for furniture there before going out and buying anything. people will trade on there or they just want it out.. plus, if i dont like it, i can always paint it myself which would be much cheaper. and idont mean like furniture.. i meant like storage things for like my dvds. and i need better art storage and book storage. come to think of it, we might have something in the basement i can use since i rearranged my room.. i might even be able to convince my ma to let/help me paint it.

i think this is a good pet project for me. i need to find myself and i cant do it by being online all the time. dont get me wrong, im not giving up the computer. im just going to be doing things so i wont be on as much. cause of course i still would be on to talk to him, theres not even a question about that.. and id still wanna log into secondlife and chat/dj at night if i wanted to. i just wouldnt be on as much during the day. plus, i would also be on to blog ;D

anyway, i need to sleep. i have a big day tomorrow.. starting with a wake up call for him before i sleep! ;D

tidy house, tidy mind. (if thats wrong, im sure he will correct it, lol)