thats what i realized today. ive lost 1.5lbs in a matter of 3 days. why? cause im determined. im motivated. ive got that grrrr factor back and im not letting it slip away again! ive added new things i can do to exercise even when im sitting in bed.. kinda like im doing now while i type this post. its eleven at night and im exercising even tho i can wait til the morning. why? cause i want this more than anything and i have deadlines and goals to meet. even the littlest movements can help, thats obvious after my last weigh-in. and it will be even more obvious after the next one and the one after that and so on ;D

30lbs by april 1st. pfft, thatll be a piece of proverbial cake ;D lol. for now tho i need sleep, i have a business meeting in the morning with my cousin! sleepydoodle time! positive mental attitude for the win! lol

When you know what you want
and you want it badly enough,
you’ll find a way to get it.
Jim Rohn

i never thought i would be able to do this, but im so happy this dit is working out for me. ive wanted it for so long and had honestly given up cause nothing seem to have worked. now that it has, im feeling wonderful! dont get me wrong, diet food sucks. big time. but the end result is what im after and as my ma keeps telling me.. “nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” im going to believe her on that one because i know im already feeling great even tho i still have a long way to go.

more exercise is in my future. i cant do much, but its time i start taking what i can do and pushing myself just a little more. not too much tho, i know all too well the effects of overdoing it for myself. thats when i end up getting hurt because im too tired to transfer properly. none of that, its not allowed anymore. i have found some things i can do in my chair for exercise, which is perfect cause while him and i watch jack bauer kick major ass in 24, i can burn calories. my chair has a power seat, so i can lay it back. that way i can do modified sit-ups. its perfect! and its obviously working, so yay!

my birthday is coming up and normally id have a yummy coffee from starbucks and later on in the evening we would go out for dinner. this year, instead of starbucks im just going to have a regular coffee from home with non-fat cream. however, i already decided im gonna use real sugar. ive tried the other shit and thats just what it is, shit. im skipping starbucks coffee, im keepin my damn sugar, lol. and we are still going to go out for dinner. im not worried about that. ive gone out quite a few times since i started the diet and have made very good choices. plus, it kind of pushes me to do a little more exercising, lol. i am sad tho cause ive sworn off dr pepper until im in england. that may sound lame to most people, but i love dr pepper. love, love love it. its all empty calories tho and i dont need those. im gonna miss it tho, haha.

moving on, ive heard from my friend. the one that i got into a fight with back in september. i refused to call her because i felt it was time for her to be the one to step up and take responsibility for how she acted. i wasnt about to call and fix things, she needed to do it when she was ready. apparently, she was ready at 3:40 this morning. we talked for ten minutes or so. she said she didnt wanna miss my birthday [i missed hers.. well i didnt miss it, i wanted to call, but didnt wanna break so i stood my ground] and that she missed me. im happy she called, i missed her too even tho i was mad at her. i think im going to invite her to go to dinner with us on tuesday. :)

its funny that she called and my parents are going  out of town. normally she would be the one to stay with me, but since we werent on speaking terms i had to ask a different friend. im sure we will all still hang out and her and i will definitely be heading to the tattoo parlor so i can start my new ink. i cant wait for that! its almost theraputic. it hurts, but it feels good and i tend to let my mind wander and get lost in my own thoughts while its being down. its just phase one of the new ink tho.. i cant finish it til i get to england and i cant get to england til i get to my goal weight. its all about motivation and positive mental attitude. and thankfully, i have both of those even tho my attitude may slip at times.. it always goes back to it ;D

anyway, its off to bed for me! i have new products to add to our site tomorrow and exercising to do!

Ability is what you’re capable of doing.
Motivation determines what you do.
Attitude determines how well you do it.
Lou Holtz

ive been exercising during the day while im online. i turn on my music and start moving around in my chair as much as possible while i work on the site or graphics. it feels good. makes my back feel better, thats for sure. i texted my cousin tonight. shes been talking about joining weight watchers, but hasnt yet. her and my other cousin were supposed to do it together. to be honest, i dont know if either of them really want to lose the weight, but i know i do. so, when i texted her i asked if she wanted to maybe start coming over on a  regular basis and playing wii with me. its so much fun, but on your own can get slightly boring. plus, if shes serious about losing weight, itll help her and be helping me at the same time.

my parents go out of town in three and a half weeks. im looking forward to a break from them. dont get me wrong, i love my parents. but goddamn, living with them is a whole other story. i know for a fact that if i didnt live at home, my ma and i would get a long so much better. we get along now, but if i were out of the house it would be a much better relationship. however, since im here at least for the time being, im trying to just go with it. and with the new routine i have set for myself, it should keep her off my case.

ok, bedtime for me. i need to be up early!
positive mental attitude + motivation = yay!

A positive mental attitude is the starting point of all riches,
whether they be riches of a material nature or intangible riches.
Napoleon Hill

anywaysies. yea, i said it. lol, he knows whats up. so, i wrote a check for $3.99. after making a couple stops we headed off to get shots. we were waiting for the guy to quit dragging ass and do the damn thing already.. and there was a whole thing of body washes in front of me. i was bored and to be honest, i was pretty fuckin high. so i started smelling all the ones i could reach and i found one that was AMAZING, lol. its called coconut scrub. and it smells delicious. i never have cash on me.. so i had to write a check lol.. i think thats the smallest amount ive ever had to write a check out for. im definitely getting an ATM card.

came home from all that and hopped online. he got off work early so we hung out all night watching entourage. i dont even know how many we watched, but it was a lot and they were all fucking great. its about time we did it too. we had originally downloaded them ages ago. i know for me they are still sitting on my desktop, lol. regardless, i love this show and im excited to watch more of it and for the season premiere of its always sunny in philadelphia, thats on september 17th. yay! and even better, californication is comin back soon, too!!! ;D

my new thing to help me along in reaching my goal is exercising while i watch these shows. that way, im being productive and still getting to watch my shows. no guilt! lol. anyway, im off to bed. i have to be up at 7am. going to the doctors, bleh. peace out, homies ;p

positive mental attitude, bitches.

i seriously feel like ive lost weight. i need to get weighed to know for sure.. but i honestly think i did. physically, i feel better than i have in a long time.. and im just getting started. im going to make my goal weight and im going to look absolutely amazing when i do. the wii is definitely helping me get to my goal. it gets my heart rate going, im exercising and i know im burning calories. i love it! i actually looked in the mirror tonight, like really looked and saw myself at my goal weight.. and it felt amazing. so theres no way im giving up til ive reached it. im definitely on the right track and i cant wait to see how it all turns out.

i also went to the abilities expo today. i got a new grabber, its called the telestik. ill post a link on the right for it. its seriously the best one ive had yet. i know i just got it, but i already know it can do so much more than the other ones ive had. its much lighter and the whole concept of it is much more adapted to a person with a disability. so im excited about it. i also went to that sex on wheels: the art of kissing workshop. im glad i went. the stuff the speaker talked about really made a lot of sense and really hit home more than once. a lot of it really made me think about my own situation in a way i never had before. im still processing everything he said. plus, i bought his book, which ill also post a link for.

all-in-all.. it was a really good day. i got to wake him up and have a mini morning dj session for him, then i slept.. woke up, went to the expo, talked to him after work, wii’ed, blogged.. i feel good about myself.. and i like that. :)

tomorrow in no particular order.. css, laugh with my nerdface, wii, read, crochet maybe, art maybe.. probably take a mini nap.. i mean, brainstorm! and then photoshop for a bit.. by then he should be home and then more chatting and laughing with him ;D yay! good plan. i like it!