elle jay* » fucked up http://www.ellejay.com nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Wed, 18 Aug 2010 00:11:55 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 elle jay* http://0.gravatar.com/avatar/8a6bc269a9181f0a68a5d1bc61bce9d0.png?s=48 http://www.ellejay.com one of those nights http://www.ellejay.com/2009/04/one-of-those-nights/ http://www.ellejay.com/2009/04/one-of-those-nights/#comments Fri, 17 Apr 2009 04:15:10 +0000 elle http://ellejayxoh.wordpress.com/?p=79 its one of those nights when it seems like everything was getting me down. i was thinking to much into things that already happened and its too late to change the past. drinking tonight didnt help that though. i know i fucked up and i know that its unfair to vent to him about certain things.. and i shouldnt have regardless of him asking what was wrong. i just didnt wanna lie and say nothing. he means the world to me and i know where we stand. and tho it may not be where we were and it will never be again, its ok. it may be hard at times.. at least at first. but itll get easier. and even tho we arent an “us” anymore.. we are still a team and a hell of a team at that. hes one of my best friends, my confidant. i know my thoughts and myself are safe with him.. just like i hope he knows the same goes for him. i know ill miss what we had.. but i look forward to the future and what will become of us.. not as a couple, but as great friends.. cause eventually we (mostly him) will still take over the world. i hear he pays well too, which is good for me. ;p

all that aside, i had a record today. i transferred out of bed in three minutes. usually it takes about 10-15.. then i was done getting ready this morning in less than 30 mins, including the original out of bed transfer. this may seem like nothing to most people. but its a huge accomplishment for me. i didnt do any origami today and i tried to do more crocheting, but im still confused on these stitches. i found a great how to video tho, but i seriously need to watch it about 30 bajillion more times before ill get the stitch down lol. its fun and frustrating all at the same time. hopefully by winter there will be a scarf to show for all my hard work lol. i have a long way off til then, so if its not done by then.. i think im gonna have to call it quits on crocheting. but not yet!

anyway, today was a rollercoaster.. and im pretty sure that ride is over. im good. we are good. everything is fine. tomorrow is a new day, more crocheting, lots of coffee (fucking amazing), and definitely less drinking.. maybe just one or two tomorrow night lol. ;p

ps. yay for spell check! ;D

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