ive been looking into different places to rent a wheelchair from while im out there, thats one of my main concerns. i need something that can be broken down, but still be electric. but then it still needs to be a chair that is firm compared to most collaspable chairs which usually have soft backs and seats. at this point in time i know i wouldnt be comfortable in something like that for a long period of time. and i plan on being in england for at least a week, week and a half.. who knows at this point really, lol.

im hoping by the time im down to my goal weight, the kind of chair wont matter cause itll be easier for me to shift positions or if need be have someone lift me onto a couch or something of that nature. im getting closer to my goal every day. ive lost a a few more pounds and am down 22.8lbs so far! ive found new exercises i can do from my chair while i watch shows online with him, plus im still wii’ing.

ive been saving up for my trip as well. my new fund jar is for our london excursion while im over there. we plan on going down that way for a night or two, possibly see a friend and his girlfriend while we are there as well. thats what the bowl is for tho. all spare change will go in there and before i head overseas ill cash it and whats ever in there will go towards our mini trip within a trip ;D

im really excited about going over there and getting to hang out with him! its definitely the best motivation and just the kick in the ass that i needed. ive been on diets before. the most i lost was 10lbs and i was in my teen years at that point. the diets i tried after that, i dont know.. i guess i wasnt motivated enough. i didnt care about myself. i didnt feel like anyone did. of course, i know now its not true. but at the time its how i felt. i would cheat on the diet without a second thought.

now tho.. even thinking about cheating on it i feel guilty and choose not to do it. im pretty sure that a big part of that is that i tend to tell him everything. so if i cheated, i would definitely tell him and then id be disappointed in myself and whether he felt the same or not.. i would think he would be. i dont want that. plus, i owe this to myself to stick to it and continue on the road im on because in the long run its all for the better. i didnt think i had the willpower, but ive already proved myself wrong. i will get to my goal weight and when i do.. its england or bust. :)

Strength does not come from physical capacity,
it comes from an indomitable will.
Mahatma Gandhi

hibernating sounds perfect. i could sleep and sleep.. and just dream. i love dreaming. i have a tattoo on the inside of my forearm it reads ‘..i wanna see movies of my dreams..‘ its from car by built to spill, i love it. you should have a listen, maybe youll love it too or at least like it.. anyway, i digress.. i know a  lot of people might think thats lame. good thing i didnt get a tattoo to please someone else, huh? i got it cause it means something to me.. cause honestly id love nothing more than to share them with certain people. not all, of course. some are just for me, lol. but still, i would love to even sit back and just watch them like a movie. how cool would that be?

since hibernating isnt really an option, i need to get on the case. i have plans. theres NO way im breaking them! i need to get on track and start a routine. i think thats the first step. im thinking up by 8:30am and in bed by 9:30pm.. and then try to actually sleep. after i post, of course. and then with out a doubt id still do wake up calls. i wouldnt cut those out, lol. i dont know what my second step is yet. well, thats not true, i need to work on our website. i also need to work on photoshop and getting sugarmooch up and running as well. plus, i also wanna get back into art. ive been neglecting it and that needs to stop. and i need to start reading. i miss it, i used to read a lot a few years ago. and i miss getting lost in books. he would tell me to read something that i can learn something from.. i like getting lost in my imagination when i read, tho. so ;p

i think thats a good plan routine wise and goal/objective wise. positive mental attitude, thats what this is about. that is what i am about. :)

We must become the change we want to see.
Mahatma Gandhi