speaking of diets.. only 27 more pounds to go before i hit my short term goal. so, yay! i also think my sleeping schedule is back on track. its been a long time since ive been ready to go to bed by 10/11pm, but for the past couple days i have been and then ive been up around 8am.. on my own accord! lol, that hasnt happened in ages! i just need to keep it up, especially when the folks go out of town. thats when it could go downhill. i refuse to let it tho. i kind of like being up early, getting my to-do list for the day together and then slowly checkin them off. feels like im accomplishing thing.. well, thats cause i am, but it feels better to actually be able to check whatever it is off the list. see the progression rather than just move from one thing to the next.

so, ive been thinking about the new ink i want and as much as i want to do it right this second.. i think im going to wait until i reach my short term goal. just like im waiting til im out in england to finish it, i have to wait til i hit my 30lbs by april 1st mark before i can start it. i think itll be the perfect reward and then i can take new pictures of myself 60lbs lighter and with new ink. itll be perfect! anyway, i have things to do! time to get on the case :)

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine.
Mike Murdock

thats why it gets me so upset when i ask my ma to help me with something and i have to hear about it. like if i ask for her to fix my blankets a certain way.. to her its me being ocd. to me its me trying to get things situated so that if i get cold during the night i can easily pull my blankets up. one of the biggest thing she questions is when im getting into bed, there are certain steps in my routine and they go in that order so im comfortable during the night and dont need to bother her for anything. yes, sometimes i change the steps, thats my prerogative tho. its my routine, im allowed to. when shes helping me, shes my attendant. i shouldnt have to explain why one thing is happening before another. if i switch it up its for a valid reason and thats that. the minute i change something tho she has to start with the questions or if she switched up the routine she thinks thats ok. its not and im not ocd.

ok, im a little ocd. nothing like she claims i am tho. i just wish she could understand what i have to go thru and why things need to be done in certain ways. i know shell never get it tho and i dont know how else to explain it to her. ive tried telling her, she doesnt get it. :/

Frustration, although quite painful at times,
is a very positive and essential part of success.
Bo Bennett