ive been a little down today, but then i put all my new art supplies together and started drawing a bit. i feel better already, hopefully tonight i can sleep and then be even better tomorrow. we shall see!!

i really dont know what to post about tonight. i didnt so all that much today. aside from brainstorming.. which is basically sleeping, lol. however, him and i did put together a great web page for a friend of his. it took pretty much all night, but it was a good learning experience. especially after i broke it at one point and he had to fix it, lol. however, after a new theme and a little handy work between the two of us we were able to get it all sorted! ;D what else did i do.. umm played a little wii, kicked my dads ass in it, of course. watched a movie with the folks and am about to go post on his site i think.. or attempt it or work on the site a little bit more. i havent decided yet, lol. i might even go to bed.. who really knows!

oh! i almost forgot, i totally tied my hair up tonight all by myself! i havent been able to do that in ages. granted, it took me about five minutes and it fell out of the ponytail about ten minutes later, lol. but! the point is i did it all on my own.. im quite proud of that. anyway, now its time to post elsewhere, work on css or sleep, lol.. peace, love and positive mental attitude! ;)

another thing i think i might do to keep motivated is to put up some pictures that would remind me of what im working for. i have to admit, i got the idea from him, lol. he thought id make fun of him for doing it himself [weve all got goals!], but i actually thought it was a great idea. so, im going to start looking for some things that remind me of england and maybe some clothes i want or clothes id be able to wear once i hit my goal weight. only thing is i dont have anywhere to put them. hes got an office/studio, i have a bedroom. i think i might have to go get a cork-board and make use off it or i can be creative and maybe possibly make my own. ive done it in the past.. im sure i can do it again. who knows tho, lol. reagardless, i think having those visuals up is exactly what i need to keep me on track. polo does a pretty good job as well, if you remember hes one of the little guys he bought for me. i sent him marco and kept polo. they are our mascots and in all honesty, it really does work. hes just that little reminder of what im working towards and i love it.

so tomorrow is all about gathering things for motivation.. and logo making.. and music finding.. and umm idk what else! lol, ill find out tomorrow i suppose :) as for now tho, its time to sleep.. or at least attempt it cause at the moment im not really sleepy, but i know i should at least try. gotta get that schedule/routine sorted out asap!

Obstacles are things a person sees
when he takes his eyes off his goal.
E. Joseph Cossman

not this time around. i asked countless times with no results. then he goes, “if you wanna know, ill tell you.” of course i wanna know! “ye– no– yes! nono! dont tell me….. tell me. no dont!” im pretty sure my answer was different variations of that every time the questioned was asked. i wanted to know, but the anticipation was even better. he didnt tell me.i called and woke him up for work that morning and he sleepily sang me happy birthday. i loved it, it was really cute. another phone call later and he was off to work, unfortunately it was a double.

later on that morning after i woke up my ma comes up to my room with a package and the rest of the mail. she starts sorting thru her stuff while i sit there with my prezzie. tape still intact, scissors needed. i was in bed still, scissors were not an option. so i pry at the tape for a second and in the process ask my ma to help. when shes done with the mail. fuck that. i have been waiting for this package for a week and some odd days. i pulled and peeled the tape as much as i could..

twenty minutes later after a minor issue with the tape, i was in. he even got it gift wrapped ;D i wasnt expecting that at all. it was a sweet touch. two prezzies all wrapped up nice looked up at me from the box. i knew the larger one was the how to book, i opened it and flipped thru it a minute before going back to the other one. i knew this one was a book too, but i had no idea which one. i ripped the paper and all i saw was the red D and black background. i immediately knew what it was! a book by hank motherfuckin moody! if you dont know who that is, be ashamed. do yourself a favor and go check out the first episode of californication. if youre not hooked by the end, well then.. id say theres something wrong with you. lol, i kid. but seriously one of our favorites.

i am so excited about this book. i absolutely love it and i hadnt even read it yet. my ma of course gave me an odd look when she heard the name. i explained the significance of the book  to her, but i dont think she got it. oh well, i did. he had asked me what i wanted for my birthday. i said hank moody. he delivered. granted the real hank moody would have been much more appreciated.. lol maybe next year! regardless, i havent been able to put it down. im almost done and even just talking about it here makes me wanna stop posting and pick the book back up. i texted him to let him know i got it and i loved it and he said he had a surprise for me. turns out his double ended up not being a double. yay! that meant hanging out and more 24. and we did, it was great. :)

my ma went out to pick up our dinner. i finally decided on thai. it was delicious and i didnt feel guilty eating it. thats always a plus, lol. i hung out downstairs the rest of the night with my parents and we ended up playing wii for a couple hours. my dad bitched, my ma and i laughed at him. he bitched more and lost.. numerous times, lol. it was fun :) no one fought all night and my ma even got me a low fat yummy ice cream dessert for my birthday complete with peanut butter cups, my favorite! it was actually a very nice evening with my folks. im glad we decided to stay in and hang out at home. my friend even stopped by later after class to gimme a little prezzie to last me til friday, which was awesome of her.

im going for my tattoo this upcoming week and im excited. i feel like its something i need to get me in motion. this is going to be a year of changes for me. im really serious about getting on track. and this is by far the perfect year to get it done. i have my support, my motivation, my positive mental attitude and me results so far speak for themselves. its working so far. now to raise the bar. for now tho, i really need sleep. my hands are tired and my eyes keep wanting to shut. as much as i wanna read the rest of my new book.. i dont think tonight is gonna be the night i find out how it ends! sleepydoodle time, lol.

You won’t know the power of the journey until you step up each rung of  the
ladder toward what you want. Then, even if you get to the top and find this
dream is no longer desirable, you will be viewing life from a higher vantage
point and you will have grown in you’re ability to chase your dreams.
Troy Fontana

ive been exercising during the day while im online. i turn on my music and start moving around in my chair as much as possible while i work on the site or graphics. it feels good. makes my back feel better, thats for sure. i texted my cousin tonight. shes been talking about joining weight watchers, but hasnt yet. her and my other cousin were supposed to do it together. to be honest, i dont know if either of them really want to lose the weight, but i know i do. so, when i texted her i asked if she wanted to maybe start coming over on a  regular basis and playing wii with me. its so much fun, but on your own can get slightly boring. plus, if shes serious about losing weight, itll help her and be helping me at the same time.

my parents go out of town in three and a half weeks. im looking forward to a break from them. dont get me wrong, i love my parents. but goddamn, living with them is a whole other story. i know for a fact that if i didnt live at home, my ma and i would get a long so much better. we get along now, but if i were out of the house it would be a much better relationship. however, since im here at least for the time being, im trying to just go with it. and with the new routine i have set for myself, it should keep her off my case.

ok, bedtime for me. i need to be up early!
positive mental attitude + motivation = yay!

A positive mental attitude is the starting point of all riches,
whether they be riches of a material nature or intangible riches.
Napoleon Hill

I need to get my ass in gear and write this blurb for my graphic design page.. so I will definitely be doing that tomorrow.. at least working on it more so than I have been. I also need to wii tomorrow. I haven’t for a couple days and now my grandpa is back in Vegas so I’m on my own.. unless I can talk my ma or dad into playing. who knows with them tho.

I was actually just talking about my wii with a friend.. thy asked me if it was a gift, so I explained to them that he sent it to me because of what my doctor had suggested. they couldn’t believe someone would do that.. I proceeded to tell them that him and I are best friends and regardless of what happened in the past, we look out for and take care of each other as best we can givnlen our current locations. my friend said that they wouldn’t do that for their best friend and that I must be pretty special. I quickly replied saying that I wasn’t special, I’m just lucky to have someone as special as him in my life.. and it’s true. the friendship I have with him; tho it’s just a little over a year old, is one of.. if not the best one I’ve ever had. it jut feels good to know if I need a shoulder to cry on or advice or even just a giggle.. I know exactly who to go to and I know he will be there for me.. even if the advice isn’t something I might wanna hear ;p

anyway enough stroking his ego lol.. I’m done tryin to blog on my iPhone.. time for a movie! yay ;D

aside from all of that, i need to go to bed cause i feel like im about to pass out! ;p

aside from getting to talk to him, i also had a doctors appointment today. just to get some stuff checked out cause skin cancer runs in the family. everything checked out fine for th emost part. however, i do have to go back in a couple months cause he wants to do a biopsy, but hopefully itll be nothing. today i also ordered that scale. it should be here by monday.. so no more having to go into the hospital to use their wheelchair scale, yay!

i wii’ed so much today i feel like my arms are going to fall off, lol. i played for like two or three hours. oh! i also talked to her today, my friend that i had a little fall out with. were good. shes actually going to come and help me while my parents drive my new van up from texas. oh yea.. im getting a new van from texas, lol. fuck, i havent written in a minute. im excited about the new van tho. i think they said it was silver.. but the best part is i can sit in the passenger seat if i want! yay! the whole seat can be taken out and i can sit there.. ive never ever been able to sit in the front seat before. i know it sounds lame how excited i am, but whatever.. fuck you, lol. im stoked!

im off for now.. his wake up call is in a little bit and i wanna watch this show while i wait for the alarm to go off, lol.. but, tomorrow… um wii’ing, and ummm reading and.. maybe a little art.. oh and probably posting more products on the site for us ;D